What I Was Told...

I just wanna go for a latenight run...to breathe the fresh air...to clear my mind. In the last few weeks I've been so many places emotionally that I was afraid I was losing my mind. One five hour conversation and alot of tears changed that. I was told to stop being afraid of myself, to stop expecting everything to have a perfect ending and to close some doors...but open some windows. I was told to stop being angry when people disappoint me because...they're just people and that's what they do sometimes...that I am to take those disappointments as a teaching experience. I was told to stop trying to be everybody's everything...that I'm not superwoman and I can't do everything at one time...that the quality of the things I accomplish in life is far more important and memorable than the quantity of things that I attempt but leave unfinished (damn). In that conversation I was told that beautiful people like me can go anywhere they want in life...but we have to work 10 times harder to prove that our worth stretches beyond our hips and pretty eyes and smiles. I was told that saying hateful things to people I care about is weak and unwomanly and it lessens my intelligence (again...damn). I was told that people aren't clay or playdough and that I can't shape and mold them to my liking...and I was told that a tantrum will get me nowhere and it's an unsophisticated act for a woman of my intelligence who knows very well how to "use my words" and articulately express myself, my wants and needs...(ok, now i'm feeling this small)...I was told to stop trying to make up my own rules to situations and expecting everyone else to follow them...that I can't be in charge of anyone but myself and that little guy I brought into the world (tears)....to be continued