Summer Of My Life...

Hey dolls! I know I've been gone for a minute...but I'm back! I'm so excited for summer and all the new projects that I'm working on. I've been keeping them a secret...just in case they don't work out, I won't feel so bad. lol. One project that I will share with you guys is "The Summer Of My Life" project. This will be a new blog that will chronicle the events of my summer. I'll share pictures as well as the activities, vacations and any other happenings during my summer. I'm also involved in a movement called the "Murder Free Summer", with a friend of mine in my hometown of Annapolis and so I'll also be sharing the events and progress of that project with everyone. I'm hoping this will actually BE the summer of my life! I have alot planned for me and my son and I'm hoping it all works out. As my other projects start coming together more I'll share them as well. Stay tuned...

Who's REALLY The Dominant Sex???

Ok, so I've been thinking. In so many cultures and societies men have been seen as the dominant sex. I beg to differ. Physically, men may have one up on us delicate daisies...but if you take an honest look at the lives of men and women you may see things a little different when it comes to emotional strength. Because women have always been viewed as the weaker sex, we've had to endure circumstances and battles that most men wouldn't be able to. The job of nurturing, guiding and baring children takes the strength of 1000 men but is frequently left resting on the shoulders of only one woman. We often are forced to take on the roles of men when it comes to raising our children whether the men are absent by choice, by incarceration or because they are off in another land fighting another man's war. We've had to fight for the rights of decisions we make involving our own bodies, we've had to fight to be able to participate in decision making that effects not only men, but the entire world. We've had to pull strength from unknown places to heal and comfort the men in our lives when they are broken or unable to achieve. Women are who they look to for support when they can't take pain whether it be a mother, a grandmother, an aunt or any other woman who has been a source of strength in their lives...you don't see them crying on their "homeboy's" shoulder. In the new generation of "anything you can do, I can do too", women have proven that they can take on the complicated responsibilites of being a "decent" woman in society as well as fight wars, be the main financial provider for her family, raise a family alone and share the emotional burdens of the men in her life.

Enough Is Enough!

You're fed up. You're crying. You're wishing ill fate. You're waiting by the phone. You're pissed off because it's not ringing...or if it is ringing, it's not him. You're thinking of all the time, devotion, trust, love and whatever else you've put into this person. smh. Been there, done that, realized the errors of my ways. As young women who have so many roles to play in our lives and so much weight to carry on our shoulders, I can't understand why we constantly lack the mental capacity to know when someone doesn't mean us any good. We know how we don't want to be treated, we know what is unacceptable and we know when things just feel wrong. However, we continually allow the people in our lives to distract us, disappoint us, use us up and disrespect us...and I'm not only talking about the men in our lives. We also continually accept this treatment and these actions from a variety of people...friends, family, co-workers, etc... When do we just say enough is just enough!?! When you have children to raise, a home to keep in order, a job to be at everyday...you don't have time to sit around and sulk about the way you're allowing someone to do you wrong. You're ALLOWING them to! You're allowing someone else power over your self-esteem, power over your happiness, power over your spirit and it's unhealthy. I know that sometimes letting go is so much easier said than done but if a relationship with someone keeps taking the air out of you and leaving you too exhausted to handle your business and take care of the things and people in your life who need and deserve the attention...that's enough. We have to take resposibility for our own hearts and minds and not let a "piece of a man" or a "there when times are good" friend be in control...to be continued

The Eternal "Boyfriend"

What is this f*ckery?? How many years, how many babies and how many break-up/make-up sessions are reasonable before just realizing that whatever situation you're in with whatever person...is pointless?!? When is it time for an "advancement" of position or relationship status and how do you go about approaching the other person and letting them know that you've earned a promotion in their lives? Some people may see this as pressuring the other person...I see it as knowing where you stand...and if you've been with someone for 5 or 10 years and your still not STANDING at somebody's alter, then where do you go from there? Of course I know that marraige isn't for everyone, but for the women and men who want that...how long do you wait? I think the conversation needs to take place as soon as you know that you are past the "friend" stage. Expectations about what level you plan to take the relationship should be established at the very beginning to make sure that both planes are taking off at the same time and going to the same place. You can't depend on the other person to know your expectations or to know when you want more from the situation than what it is. You have to communicate effectively so that everybody's on the same page. And while some people may be ok with the "eternal lover", if you know that you want something more you need to speak up and if the outcome is not what you hoped for or what you "expected"...then you know where you stand and it's time to make a decision based on where you are versus where you want to be.

Technical Miscommunication...(Monique K. Makell dislikes this)

sometimes it's necessary to think with a clear mind instead of a confused heart. when communication between two people is unclear it leads to misunderstandings...which almost always leads to confusion by at least one of the parties involved. adult conversations about feelings and futures should not be settled via text messages and facebook. there's no closure there (in my opinion) and it diminishes the emotion and sometimes the meaning of those conversations. it's not an adult way to communicate. we've become so technical in our everyday lives that many of our relationships and friendships suffer because they are no longer personal and intimate because instead of hearing the other person's voice and being able to gauge the emotions and feel their excitement or disappointment...it's just a bunch of typed words across a screen. communication is extremely important in our relationships with everyone in our lives and when it's minimized or lacking so many misunderstandings take place. so...if you have something to say to someone that you care about...pick up the phone or meet face to face and say it. stop letting today's technology change how we communicate with our loved ones. peace

Just A Thought...

As long as you're doing SOMETHING...the people who are doing NOTHING are looking for ways to stop you from doing it. It baffles me that so many of us (african americans), haven't evolved enough in life to start trying to build each other up and better ourselves as a culture. Instead, we continue to spread so much negative energy that it makes it damn near impossible for anyone to get ahead. We have to learn that another person's success doesn't equal our failure. We should be building strong relationships with people who have similar goals so that if one of us makes it, the others can follow. When we are selfish with our accomplishments we miss out on opportunities to advance.

Men's "Friend"...

so let me break this down to any men who don't already know this. when I meet you and we go through all the initial initiation questions (what do you do?, where do you live?, how many kids do you have?, etc...), I would have to say that yes that is the appropriate time to state the facts about any wives, girlfriends, crazy baby mommas, f*ckbuddies, boos, sidepieces and oh yeah...the infamous "friend". I hate when I meet a guy who claims to be single but then throws in the "I have a friend"....and then wants you to pat him on the back and kiss his cheek for being an "honest guy"...and expect you to trust him. laughable...yeah, you might be honest about telling me about your "friend" (and more than likely because the bitch is psycho and you're just trying to put me on point) but c'mon man seriously??? if you have a "friend" that's worthy enough for you to tell me about her then...wtf are you doing in MY face? and as far as you being honest goes, I'm quite sure you didn't run home and tell "friend" that you just got my number or repeat all that slick sh*t you were whisperin' in my ear...just sayin' fellas

DON'T LET ME GET ME...

hmmm...those words seem so relevant to my life right now. don't let me get me...translation: don't let me f*ck my own life up by getting in my own way. it's funny now, to think about where I was 10-12yrs ago. cool industry job that any chick in her 20's would kill for, celebrity friends, free vacations, several "15 minutes" of fame, a size 5 frame, a bestie I couldn't do anything without and not a care in the world. then the tide shifted...the industry changed, people changed, money changed, baby came and with that...suddenly my whole life changed.

GOALS FOR THE ROLES....

AS I WORK STEADILY ON BETTERING MYSELF, I WRITE DOWN ALOT OF PLANS AND GOALS FOR MYSELF...JUST THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS ONE. IT MAY INSPIRE YOU :-)

mother...my goal as a mother is to do the very best I can to guide, protect, teach, nurture and provide for my child. to expose him to more than the neighborhood playground and chuck e. cheese; to make him feel comfortable coming to me with any issues that arise throughout his life no matter what they are; to make him feel supported and loved unconditionally; to give him structure and morals as he grows into a young man who will have his own roles to fulfill; i'll leave teaching him how to be a man...to the men in his life

Mo Randomness...

sooo...yeah. clearly i'm at a different place in my life right now. all the "girl gone wild" out of my system, my devotion to clubbin' and bad boys...pretty much done as well. so now comes the moment when I sit alone in my one bedroom condo with my necessary glass of moscato, my notebook and my random ass thoughts. somehow, I've always thought that by the time I reached 30 I'd have it all figured out...have my shit together....so not the case. instead I'm sitting there with a list of things I NEED to accomplish, bills I NEED to pay and a head full of missed opportunities and failed attempts at being responsible. I realize that I am all the things that in my "so incredible glory years" from 17-21, I swore I'd never be....damn.

random thoughts...

sometimes you have to just give up or let go of things that mean alot to you, in order to regroup and bring yourself back to center. when certain lines are drawn...and then crossed, it sometimes makes it impossible for things to go back to where they were when everything was so good. sometimes you need to ask yourself how much a person or a situation is worth to you...how much energy, how much sacrifice and how many pieces of yourself are you willing to lose for the sake of something that holds no promise for the future.