Who Is More Important?

How important are you to yourself? How important is your own happiness versus someone else's happiness and satisfaction? Before you answer these questions you should think about some things. You should think about the kinds of people you let into your life, what kinds of friends you have and how many times you have done something that has made you unhappy or uncomfortable just to please someone else, or how many times you've "stuck it out" in a situation that was unrewarding and draining just because the situation or the person involved in the situation was familiar and/or an important piece of who you are. Once you answer those questions then you should be better able to answer the first two questions and you may discover that you are not as important to yourself as you think you are and that you are constantly putting other people's happiness before your own. Not good. I know that this gets you nowhere in life because when you use up all your energy trying to be somebody's everything, somebody's vision of perfection or trying to change someone to fit into your own vision of perfection--you have no energy left to do the things that would make your own life easy and enjoyable. You can't always take on the weight of the world and then expect people to return the favor or even just appreciate your effort...that's just not the way the world works. When you constantly give give give, even when you have nothing left to give people expect for you to keep on giving because that is your role in THEIR lives. But in order to keep your sanity you need to give UP the idea that everyone in your life will one day get it together and realize that you have your own life, your own issues to deal with and your own dilemnas to face. What you need to start doing is making it a point to just refuse people sometimes...take time for you, even if it's just to sit and do nothing...at least you're sitting and doing for YOURSELF and not using all your time and energy to cater to someone else. There's nothing wrong with being a caring person and having a big heart, but the problem is when you neglect yourself or your small children or when you abandon your own dreams and goals to help others follow through with their dreams and goals. Your not being fair to yourself. This is just something to think about.

Enough Is Enough!

You're fed up. You're crying. You're wishing ill fate. You're waiting by the phone. You're pissed off because it's not ringing...or if it is ringing, it's not him. You're thinking of all the time, devotion, trust, love and whatever else you've put into this person. smh. Been there, done that, realized the errors of my ways. As young women who have so many roles to play in our lives and so much weight to carry on our shoulders, I can't understand why we constantly lack the mental capacity to know when someone doesn't mean us any good. We know how we don't want to be treated, we know what is unacceptable and we know when things just feel wrong. However, we continually allow the people in our lives to distract us, disappoint us, use us up and disrespect us...and I'm not only talking about the men in our lives. We also continually accept this treatment and these actions from a variety of people...friends, family, co-workers, etc... When do we just say enough is just enough!?! When you have children to raise, a home to keep in order, a job to be at everyday...you don't have time to sit around and sulk about the way you're allowing someone to do you wrong. You're ALLOWING them to! You're allowing someone else power over your self-esteem, power over your happiness, power over your spirit and it's unhealthy. I know that sometimes letting go is so much easier said than done but if a relationship with someone keeps taking the air out of you and leaving you too exhausted to handle your business and take care of the things and people in your life who need and deserve the attention...that's enough. We have to take resposibility for our own hearts and minds and not let a "piece of a man" or a "there when times are good" friend be in control...to be continued

GOALS FOR THE ROLES....

AS I WORK STEADILY ON BETTERING MYSELF, I WRITE DOWN ALOT OF PLANS AND GOALS FOR MYSELF...JUST THOUGHT I'D SHARE THIS ONE. IT MAY INSPIRE YOU :-)

mother...my goal as a mother is to do the very best I can to guide, protect, teach, nurture and provide for my child. to expose him to more than the neighborhood playground and chuck e. cheese; to make him feel comfortable coming to me with any issues that arise throughout his life no matter what they are; to make him feel supported and loved unconditionally; to give him structure and morals as he grows into a young man who will have his own roles to fulfill; i'll leave teaching him how to be a man...to the men in his life

I Vow To....

I vow to never allow someone complete control of me, to never make me feel less than the person I am, to never make a fool of me or allow me to make a fool of myself, to never allow my emotions to control how I make decisions, to never compare myself to another person, to never move backwards in life or friendships or relationships, to stand on my own without NEEDING anyone to validate me or make me feel worthy because I know that I am, to improve myself, my life and my surroundings, to promote my own happiness, to understand that I get what I give or have given and karma is a bitch and to learn from the experiences that make an attempt to crush my spirit and darken my soul, to not be afraid of change or giving up something that offers no benefits for my future, to not be afraid of being alone, to get inside myself or walk beside myself, to never accept lies and jealousy, posessiveness or disrespect, to cut sh*t off at the first sign of trouble, to be a strong believer in myself when it comes to decision making, I vow to always, always put me first and to know when God is trying to tell my something, to stay out of my own way, to never make excuses for my actions or make promises I know I never intend to keep, I vow to never try to be or compete to be anyone other than me....