Female "Foe"ship...

Friendship. Not a word I've ever taken lightly or used loosely. It takes alot for me to consider someone a friend...but once I do, that's exactly what I am. As a female in this generation I've come to realize that most women my age must never have been taught the meaning of friendship or had someone school them to the rules of it. So many times females call themselves friends to another female but in the same conversation will talk sh*t about that female. The bond with "your girls" should be sacred. You should be able to get together for coffee, a meal or a drink...vent about some things, share some goals, dish about your relationships or families and not have it broadcasted around town for people who don't know the whole story, to be able to judge you. So many times I hear someone say, "don't say anything because she told me not to tell anybody"...just as they're about to tell their "friend's" secrets that they swore was "just between them". That's not a friend. When you see your "friend" in a bad situation...say, an abusive relationship or an addiction issue or a jacked up financial situation...as a friend, it's not your job to sit and listen to her troubles just so you can run and tell all your girl's business to everybody else and talk down about her or judge her for her mistakes. As a friend your job is to listen, offer advice and assistance in any way you can...to motivate them, inspire them and troubleshoot with them to find a better way. When you have a friend who has dreams and goals (no matter how unrealistic you think they may be) as a friend, you don't shoot those dreams and goals down or discourage her...again, your job is to motivate and inspire...and if she so happens to achieve the things she set out to do...if you feel any sense of jealousy at all instead of being proud and inspired by her accomplishment...you seriously need to re-evaluate yourself as a friend. How many times have we disliked our friend's mates??? Nothing wrong with that and you don't have to like them, but if that's who she's decided is the one for her and she's happy...even if she's not happy...it's not up to you as a friend to go outside of your friendship and say anything about that person or that relationship. As a friend, it's ok to give your opinion and even tell her that you don't like who she's with. But as a friend, you also have to respect the fact that she makes her own decisions and no matter how many times you tell somebody else that your friend is dumb or stupid for putting up with whatever it is she's putting up with...at the end of the day...it's not your battle to win (and that's a whole 'nother blog). I'm just saying all this beause as women I think we have enough "haters" and "sh*t talkers" around, that we don't need all that drama and he say/she say in our own circles. I don't care if you've known a chick forever...if she constantly displays acts of haterism...get rid of her. Tighten your circle and KNOW (don't guess, but KNOW) who your real friends are because regardless of how independent and self-serving we are...everybody needs a good friend. thanx for listening dolls!