Life Is What You Believe It Is...Or Isn't

Life is what we visualize it to be, what we think it is, and what we say it is. If we believe that we are unlovable/unworthy/lazy/unproductive/fat/ugly/ignorant/angry...then so it is.

If we believe that we will never have the kind of life that we dream of, then it will never come to pass. What you get out of life is what you believe you can achieve, what you think you are worthy o, and of course what you work hard for and have have faith in. Experiences come and go...as do opportunities, people, and situations...but your thoughts and beliefs are always with you. That means you need to choose your thoughts the same way you choose what to wear, or what to say. You have to decide what kinds of thoughts and beliefs you want to attach to yourSELF. If you attach thoughts of being a failure to yourself, you will never be a success. If you attach the thought that everyone in life is against you, you can never attract healthy friendships and relationships. Do you get where I'm going with this?

Learn to believe in the things, people, and the lifestyle that you want to attract. Trust yourSELF to create and be your most amazing self. The power of positivity will work itself all through areas of your life. Here are some examples of affirmations to say to yourself to begin replacing some of the negative beliefs that we all sometimes have. :-)

If You Believe/ Your Affirmation Should Be              

nothing works for me/ my life is blessed and my decisions are always right for me

I can't focus on anything/ My inner vision is clear and unclouded

I am a failure/ my life is a success

I have no right to feel this way/ All of my emotions are valuable

I don't know what to do/ I trust a higher power and my inner wisdom to guide me

When The Sky Falls...

One thing we all have to realize when it comes to living our lives is that, sometimes the sky is going to fall on us; the ground is going to drop from beneath us and we will have to experience our worlds being turned upside down and inside out at several points in our lives. The next thing we must realize and always remember is...it's ok. To make any type of progression in life some things are going to have to shift from time to time, whether you plan and prepare for them to or not, whether you're ready for them to or not. Sometimes life just takes it upon it's own powerful self to make the necessary adjustments for you, and sometimes the very situations and changes that we think are some sort of punishment or curse...actually turn out to be the blessings that we need in order to move forward.

The problems we encounter as we move through life are not actually the important part of who we are or who we may later become. The important part is how we carry ourselves through our trials, personal storms, and everyday dilemmas; how we hold on to ourselves as men and women when we are being beaten down and "tried" by our troubles. Your attitude is critical to overcoming. You must show up for your storm wearing the face of grace, strength, survival, and the faith that your hard times are not where you intend to dwell. You must believe that you are just passing through to pick up a few things...some wisdom, some courage, some strength, some motivation. Be arrogant enough to say that this sad pathetic place you're in, isn't good enough for you.

Nothing that happens to us in life is put in place to curse us. Unwelcome events, people, and situations are put before us to make us work to become better versions of ourselves, and to teach us to be doers as well as just thinkers. There is always a way "over"...but what we have to remember is that most of the time we can't get there without first going "through".  Read this again...process it...and come back to it anytime you feel like the sky is falling.

Strip Session

Everyone of us could use a good "strip session" every now and then. A session where we take it all off...the make-up, the fancy clothes, the shiny things and bare all. Then you've got to go deeper. Strip off any hurt feelings, misunderstandings, anger, frustration, guilt, mistreatment, and disappointment, that you've layered yourself with. Acknowledge it. Take it off. Throw it out.

So many of us unintentionally cover ourselves with ill emotions. We keep piling on the layers until we're so weighed down that we can barely hold our heads up...literally. We try so hard to cover up our hurts with behaviors that we think are sending the signals that we're "ok", when in all actuality they're screaming "help me take this s!@% off". So do it. There's no better time than the present, to get naked...emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc... Take a good look at what's left when you uncover all your insecurities. Now it's time to do the work of redressing yourself. Only put on what makes you feel good, what makes you proud, what motivates and inspires you to do/live/be better. Goodluck! :-)

I Shall Return...

I know you've missed me...because I've been busy reading all 8,000 of your emails! :-) and guess what...I'm back...starting tomorrow. Thanks for reading lovies!

Comments Please

Hello world! I'm pleased to see that so many people from so many different places have been reading this blog. I've also noticed that many of you have been arriving on the particular post "Let It Ring". Will someone...anyone...please let me know how you are finding that particular post and let me know what you think of the rest of this blog. Your comments are well appreciated. Thanks for reading!

AS I SAY GOODBYE...

AS I SAY GOODBYE TO ANOTHER YEAR, I LOOK BACK ON ALL THE EXPERIENCES THAT I CAN NOW ADD ON TO “THE PAST”. TWENTY-TEN HAS BEEN ONE OF THOSE YEARS WHEN I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I’VE HAD MORE GOOD TIMES THAN BAD. AT THIS TIME LAST YEAR I WAS IN TEARS AND WISHING AND HOPING THE YEAR TO AN END…TOTAL OPPOSITE NOW. THIS YEAR HAS BEEN FILLED WITH SO MANY LESSONS, SO MUCH LAUGHTER, SO MANY MEMORIES, AND SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO. I MET MORE INSPIRATIONAL, SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THAN EVER BEFORE. I FINALLY FOUND THAT BALANCE BETWEEN BEING A MOTHER AND BEING A WOMAN. I GAVE UP TRYING TO RELIVE MY EARLY TWENTIES AND JUST LET MYSELF FALL GRACEFULLY INTO MY THIRTIES WITHOUT FEELING LIKE IT WAS A MAJOR CRISIS. I BECAME A BETTER FRIEND, A BETTER MOTHER, A BETTER DAUGHTER AND A BETTER “ME”. I LET GO OF PEOPLE WHO WEREN’T ADDING ANYTHING POSITIVE TO MY LIFE AND REPLACED THEM WITH MOTIVATORS…PEOPLE WHO ENCOURAGED MY GROWTH. I ALLOWED MYSELF TO TAKE A FEW CHANCES. I JUMPED OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE NEW THINGS THAT HELPED ME REALIZE SOME VERY IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT LIFE. I READ BOOKS THAT CHANGED ME ON THE INSIDE IN ALL SORTS OF WAYS. I SPENT PLENTY DAYS ALONE…SOMETHING THAT TURNED OUT TO BE SO GOOD FOR MY SOUL. I PLANNED AND EXECUTED THE MOST SPECIAL BIRTHDAY THAT A TEN YEAR OLD COULD EVER IMAGINE. I BEGAN TRADITIONS THAT CREATED SUCH PERFECT MEMORIES. I REFUSED TO SPEND ONE DAY IN MY DARKENED BEDROOM SAD. ON THOSE DAYS WHEN THE EVERYDAY FATIGUE OF LIFE AND THE DAILY GRIND WERE GETTING THE BEST OF ME, I LISTENED TO MY BODY AND MY MIND AND I GAVE THEM BOTH A REST INSTEAD OF PUSHING MYSELF OVER THE EDGE. I SIMPLY STOPPED. I STOPPED TRYING TO BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE; STOPPED TRYING TO BE EVERYBODY’S EVERYTHING…AND I JUST TOOK CARE OF ME. SO, THOUGH I HATE TO SEE SUCH A YEAR COME TO AN END I LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT’S AHEAD IN THE YEAR AND YEARS TO COME. THIS YEAR I WILL MAKE NO RESOLUTIONS, ONLY PERSONAL GOALS WHICH I’LL KEEP TO MYSELF AND WORK ON PRIVATELY…BECAUSE…WELL, JUST BECAUSE.

Go On...

Where do you go from here? When there's nothing left to say, nothing left to talk through, nothing left to work out, no decisions left to be made....you go on. You take all the disappointment and anger and hurt feelings...and you go on with your life because life is going to still go on whether YOU do or not. The sun is still going to rise, the bills will still have to be paid, the kids will still have to be taken care of and the world will continue to spin despite your broken heart and bruised soul. When relationships leave us abandoned, we always take it out on the wrong people...us. We abuse ourselves by allowing another person to drain us of our happiness, by not eating, not sleeping, not being able to concentrate on anything but the details of what we thought was our destiny. Instead of accepting that things didn't work out no matter who may be at fault or even if there is no one at fault, we find reasons to place blame...there is no peace in that. There will be NO peace and NO closure until we re-evaluate ourselves outside of the relationship and come to terms with who we are and what role we ourselves may have played in the outcome. You work on YOU...that's where you go when it's over.

Try This...

Sometimes you just know when it's time to take some time away from the world. Time to wrap yourself in a protective mental bubble and rethink the situations in your life that are causing you the most angst. Of course there are expectations in the roles that we play...mom, wife, daughter, work colleague... that we must still find the energy and sanity to deal with. But, our own well-being, which is far too often overlooked or flat-out ignored needs to be placed at the forefront of our minds without feeling the storm of guilt that rushes through us when we feel like we aren't living up to the standards of wonderwoman. Newsflash...you're NOT wonderwoman. You're human and there are times when you're entitled to cut off the phones, call out sick, send the kids with family or friends, order take-out instead of slaving over the hot stove and just spend a day under the duvet without feeling like the second coming of Christ is near. Trust me, it will do you some good. It will bring back a sense of clarity to the thoughts that are swimming around and stock piling themselves in the back of your brain. It will give you some time to take inventory of your priorities and reorder them. Try it.

Rain

Right now I'm really wishing it would rain. That rain that turns the afternoon into dusk and beats down on the earth. I love the rain.